Quick answer

Start with the smallest dilator in your set, use plenty of water-based lubricant, and move up only when the current size feels comfortable and relaxed. Consistency matters more than speed.

Why progressive sizing works better than pushing through

Dilation is a gradual process. Jumping to a larger size before your body is ready can cause discomfort and make you tense up, which works against the goal. A silicone dilator set is designed so each size builds on the last, letting you stay at a comfortable level for as long as you need.

The right pace is the one that feels steady and pain-free. Some people move up in days, others in weeks. There is no schedule to beat.

When an intermediate set makes sense

If you have already worked with a beginner set and feel ready for the next step, an intermediate set gives you two larger sizes to progress through without jumping straight to a big size. The CalExotics Dilators Silicone Intermediate Set (2 Piece) is one example: it picks up where a beginner set leaves off, with two smooth silicone dilators.

If you are completely new to dilation, start with a beginner set instead. If you are unsure whether you are ready for intermediate sizes, talk to your healthcare provider.

Comfort tips that make a real difference

Relaxation is the biggest factor. Tense muscles make insertion harder and less comfortable. Take a few slow breaths before you begin, and stop if you feel sharp pain.

Lubricant matters too. Use a generous amount of water-based lubricant, and reapply as needed. Silicone dilators are smooth, but friction can still cause discomfort without enough lube.

Step-by-step: how to use your silicone dilator set

  1. Wash your hands and the dilator: Before each session, wash your hands with soap and water, and clean the dilator according to the manufacturer's instructions. Use a mild, unscented soap and warm water, then rinse well. Skipping this step is a common mistake that can introduce bacteria.
  2. Choose your starting size: Begin with the smallest dilator in your set, even if you have used larger sizes before. This helps you relax and warm up. If you are moving from a beginner set, start with the smaller of the two intermediate sizes. Do not start with the largest size just because you feel eager.
  3. Apply lubricant generously: Apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to the dilator and to the opening of the vagina or anus, depending on your use. Reapply during the session if needed. Using too little lubricant is a common cause of discomfort.
  4. Insert slowly and gently: Find a comfortable position, such as lying on your back with knees bent. Guide the dilator in slowly, angling it slightly toward the tailbone for vaginal use. Stop if you feel pain or resistance, and take a few deep breaths before continuing. Never force it. Discomfort is a signal to pause, not push.
  5. Hold for a few minutes: Once the dilator is in comfortably, leave it in place for a few minutes, or as advised by your healthcare provider. Relax your muscles and breathe normally. Clenching or holding your breath can make the muscles tense up.
  6. Remove slowly and clean up: Remove the dilator gently. Wash it with mild soap and warm water, rinse thoroughly, and dry it before storing. Wash your hands again. Store your dilators in a clean, dry place away from other items.
  7. Move up only when ready: When the current size feels comfortable and easy, try the next size up at your next session. If it feels uncomfortable, go back to the previous size for a few more sessions. There is no deadline. Progress at your own pace.

Product facts