Quick answer

For most people, medium firmness is the safest starting point for a fantasy dildo because it holds shape during insertion while still flexing with your body. Choose soft if you want deep texture to feel gentle or you are sensitive to pressure. Choose firm if you need precise control, strong prostate or G-spot pressure, or a toy that stands upright on its own.

Firmness is not a single number you can read off a product page. It interacts with shape, girth, and how you use the toy. This FAQ answers the practical questions buyers ask before spending money on a handmade silicone dildo.

What does shore rating actually tell you?

Shore rating is a hardness scale for rubber and silicone. For body-safe platinum-cure silicone dildos, makers often quote a shore number like 00-30, 00-50, or 10A. Lower numbers mean softer and squishier; higher numbers mean firmer and less flexible. The 00 scale is much softer than the A scale, so a 00-50 is not the same as a 50A.

The number alone does not predict how a toy will feel in use. A thick toy at 00-50 feels firmer than a thin toy at the same rating because there is more material to compress. That is why the same shore rating can feel completely different across two fantasy dildos.

How do soft, medium, and firm compare in practice?

Soft silicone (roughly 00-30 to 00-40) bends easily, absorbs pressure, and makes intense textures feel gentler. It can be harder to insert because it folds instead of pushing through resistance. Medium (roughly 00-50 to 00-60) balances structure and give, so it works for most shapes and experience levels. Firm (roughly 10A and up) keeps its shape, transmits pressure clearly, and stands up on its own, but it can feel unforgiving against sensitive spots or during long sessions.

  • Soft: best for textured or large toys, sensitive users, and slow warm-up.
  • Medium: best all-round choice for first fantasy dildos and most body types.
  • Firm: best for precise G-spot or prostate pressure and hands-free riding.

Does shape change which firmness you should pick?

Yes, often more than the shore number does. A toy with heavy texture, suckers, ribs, or a pronounced curve will feel more intense as firmness increases. A toy with a flared head or a wide base may need medium or firm silicone to hold its shape during insertion. If you are choosing between two firmness options for a highly textured toy, softer is usually the more forgiving choice.

Thickness matters too. A slim toy in firm silicone can feel sharper than a thick toy in medium. If you already know you like broad, filling pressure, medium or firm is often more satisfying than soft.

Can you change firmness after buying?

No. Silicone firmness is set when the toy is poured, so you cannot soften or harden it later. This is why it helps to think about your body and play style before ordering. If you are unsure, medium is the least risky choice, and you can add a soft or firm toy later once you know what you prefer.

Some makers list firmness options on the product page and some do not. When the option is not supplied, treat firmness as a decision limitation and ask the maker directly rather than guessing from photos.

Firmness FAQ

How firm should a dildo be for anal play?

Medium firmness is the usual recommendation for anal play because it keeps its shape for insertion but still flexes with internal curves. Soft can be comfortable for warm-up but may fold and become frustrating. Firm gives precise pressure but can feel intense if you are not warmed up. Start medium, then add soft or firm once you know your preference.

Is a soft dildo harder to insert?

Often yes. Soft silicone bends away from resistance, so it can be harder to guide through the anal sphincter or past a tight vaginal entrance. A medium or firm toy holds its line and is easier to aim. If insertion is your main concern, avoid soft for your first fantasy dildo.

Does firmness affect cleaning and storage?

Not directly. Firmness does not change how you clean or store a platinum-cure silicone toy. What matters is washing with warm water and mild soap, drying fully, and storing away from other silicone toys that could interact. Choose firmness for feel, not for care routine.

Can firmness make a large toy uncomfortable?

Yes. The larger the girth, the more a firm pour feels like a solid mass. If you are sizing up, softer silicone can make a big toy more forgiving, especially if it has heavy texture like suckers or ribs. For girth over 6 inches, consider soft or medium before firm.

Catalog facts that affect firmness choice

  • Thulu the Ancient Fantasy Tentacle Dildo: Thulu the Ancient Fantasy Tentacle Dildo has 18 suckers and a slightly ribbed design, with usable length 8.5 inches, total length 10 inches, girth 4 inches at the tip, 6.5 inches mid shaft, and a flared shape. The heavy texture and flared profile make firmness choice more noticeable. A softer pour can make the suckers and ribs feel less abrasive, while a firmer pour makes the flare and texture more pronounced.
  • Brok the Orc Fantasy Dildo: Brok the Orc Fantasy Dildo is described as rugged and imposing with textured skin and a muscular form. Surface texture plus a muscular shape means medium firmness usually gives the best balance of structure and comfort. Firm can make the texture feel sharper, and soft can make insertion harder.
  • Dante the Draft Horse Fantasy Dildo: Dante the Draft Horse Fantasy Dildo has a flared head, realistic veins, and large realistic testicles, with total length 9 inches, usable length 7 inches, base diameter 2x3 inches, girth 4.5 inches at the head, 4.75 inches mid shaft, and 5.25 inches at the bottom. The flared head and wide base need enough firmness to hold shape during insertion. Medium or firm is usually easier to seat than soft, especially for hands-free riding.