Quick answer
Start with a calm conversation about curiosity and boundaries, then choose a beginner-friendly prostate massager with a flared base. Use plenty of water-based lubricant, begin with external perineum massage before any insertion, and let the receiving partner control the pace. The Nexus Titus offers dual prostate and perineum stimulation, while the Nexus Ride adds remote control for partner-guided play.
Talk first: set expectations and boundaries
Before any toy comes out, have a relaxed chat about what each of you wants to try. Ask open questions: Are you curious about prostate stimulation? Do you prefer to give or receive? What pace feels comfortable? Agree on a safe word or signal to pause at any time. This conversation is not a one-time event—check in during play too. Remember that prostate play is not just for the receiving partner; the giving partner can also enjoy the intimacy and control. Avoid making it a performance; focus on sensation and connection.
Pick a massager that suits your experience level
If you are new to prostate play, a smaller, curved massager with a flared base is safest and easiest to insert. The Nexus G-Play + Large is a versatile vibrating massager with a silicone shaft that can be used anally or vaginally, and the silicone outer sleeve is removable for cleaning or for use as a non-vibrating finger massager. For couples who want hands-free fun, the Nexus Ride offers a 100% silicone shaft, 6 shaft vibrations, 6 base vibrations, and 48 combinations, plus a waterproof remote control with up to 8 metres range. The Nexus Titus provides firm prostate massage from its polypropylene tip, internal ridges, and a unique stainless steel roller ball on the base for perineum licking sensations. Choose based on comfort, not size.
Set the scene and gather supplies
Prepare a comfortable space with easy access to lubricant, tissues, and a towel. Use a high-quality water-based lubricant—silicone lubricant can damage silicone toys, and oil-based lubricants are not recommended for anal play because they can weaken condoms and are harder to clean. Keep the lube within reach and reapply often. Consider laying down a dark towel to reduce mess and anxiety. Dim lighting and relaxing music can help both partners feel less self-conscious. Have the toy cleaned and ready before you start so you don't break the mood.
Start with external play and perineum massage
Begin with full-body massage or gentle touching to help the receiving partner relax. The anal sphincter has two rings of muscle that need time to loosen. Apply lubricant to the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) and gently massage with a finger or the base of the toy. For example, the Nexus Titus has a stainless steel roller ball specifically designed to deliver licking sensations to the perineum, which can be a great way to introduce vibration without insertion. Ask for feedback: Does this feel good? Would you like more pressure? Go slow—this step can last several minutes.
Insert slowly and communicate constantly
When the receiving partner is ready, apply more lubricant to the toy and the anus. Have the receiving partner bear down slightly as if having a bowel movement—this relaxes the sphincter. Insert the toy slowly, aiming toward the belly button, not straight up. Stop at any sign of pain. Once inserted, let the receiving partner adjust to the feeling before turning on vibrations. If using a vibrating toy like the Nexus G-Play + Large or Nexus Ride, start on the lowest setting. The giving partner can hold the base or use the remote to change settings. Check in verbally: 'More? Less? Slower?' Remember that the prostate is about 5–7 cm inside the rectum, on the front wall. You may feel a walnut-sized gland.
Try positions that work for both partners
The best position is one where both partners feel relaxed and can communicate. Common options: receiving partner on their back with knees bent and feet flat (missionary-style), which allows eye contact and easy access. Spooning—both lying on their sides—is intimate and less tiring. Doggy style gives the giving partner more control but can feel less connected. Side-by-side with one leg raised can work well for manual play. For remote-controlled toys like the Nexus Ride, the giving partner can sit back and adjust settings from up to 8 metres away, which adds a playful dynamic. Experiment and switch positions if something feels uncomfortable.
Aftercare and cleanup
After play, remove the toy slowly and gently. Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner—silicone toys like the Nexus Ride and G-Play + Large can be washed thoroughly, and the G-Play's removable sleeve makes cleaning easier. The Nexus Titus has a removable stainless steel roller ball for easy cleaning. Dry the toy and store it in a clean, dry place. Check in with your partner: How did it feel? What did you like? What would you change? Aftercare can include cuddling, a shower together, or just talking. Never rush this step; it builds trust for future play.
Step-by-step: introducing a prostate massager with a partner
- Have the conversation before you bring out any toy: Discuss curiosity, boundaries, and a safe word. Agree that either partner can pause at any time. Avoid surprising your partner with a toy; that can feel pushy and break trust. Checkpoint: Both partners should feel enthusiastic, not pressured.
- Choose a beginner-friendly massager with a flared base: Look for a curved, smooth toy with a wide base to prevent it from going too far in. The Nexus G-Play + Large has a removable silicone sleeve and can be used as a finger massager first. The Nexus Titus offers firm prostate and perineum stimulation. Checkpoint: Never use a toy without a flared base for anal play.
- Set up lube, towels, and a comfortable space: Use plenty of water-based lubricant and keep it nearby. Lay down a towel. Make sure the toy is clean and charged if it vibrates. Dim the lights and put on relaxing music if that helps. Checkpoint: Reapply lube often; dryness is the most common cause of discomfort.
- Start with external perineum massage: Apply lube to the perineum and gently massage with a finger or the base of the toy. The Nexus Titus has a stainless steel roller ball designed for this. Ask for feedback on pressure and speed. Checkpoint: Do not rush to insertion; external play helps relax the sphincter.
- Insert slowly and let the receiving partner guide: Have the receiving partner bear down slightly as you insert. Aim toward the belly button. Stop if there is pain. Once inserted, let them adjust before turning on vibrations. Start on the lowest setting. Checkpoint: Pain is a stop signal, not something to push through.
- Try different positions and communicate: Positions like on-the-back with knees bent, spooning, or side-by-side work well. For remote toys like the Nexus Ride, the giving partner can control settings from up to 8 metres away. Switch positions if something feels uncomfortable. Checkpoint: The best position is the one where both partners feel relaxed and connected.
- Clean up and check in afterward: Remove the toy slowly. Wash it with warm water and mild soap or toy cleaner. The Nexus G-Play's sleeve and the Nexus Titus roller ball are removable for easy cleaning. Dry and store properly. Talk about what you enjoyed. Checkpoint: Aftercare builds trust and makes future play more comfortable.
Products mentioned
- Nexus - G-Play + Large - Vibrator: Nexus G-Play + Large is a G or P spot vibrating massager with an ergonomically designed silicone shaft and a motor that delivers strong, steady vibrations. The silicone outer can be removed for cleaning or to use as a non-vibrating finger massager. The removable sleeve makes cleanup easier and offers two ways to play, which is ideal for beginners who want to start with external massage before insertion.
- Nexus Titus - Prostate Massager: Nexus Titus is a dual prostate and perineum stimulator made from firm polypropylene. The tip delivers firm prostate massage, the shaft has ridges for internal stimulation, and a stainless steel roller ball on the base provides licking sensations to the perineum. The roller ball is removable for cleaning. The firm tip and textured shaft give more intense prostate pressure, while the roller ball adds external perineum stimulation—great for couples who want a toy that does double duty.
- Nexus Ride - Vibrating Prostate Massager with Remote Control: Nexus Ride is a vibrating prostate massager with a 100% silicone shaft, 6 shaft vibrations, 6 base vibrations, and 48 combinations. It comes with a rechargeable, waterproof remote control with up to 8 metres range. Insertable length is 10cm and shaft width at widest point is 3.5cm. The remote lets a partner control vibrations from a distance, which can add a new layer of intimacy. The waterproof design means it can be used in the shower, and the silicone shaft is body-safe.
