What Size Silicone Toy Should You Start With?

Not sure what size silicone toy to buy first? This guide gives you concrete rules and trade-offs for choosing your starting size, with real product examples.

Publishing teamXI LANGS Editorial

PublishedOct 17, 2026

Page updatedOct 18, 2026

Reading time4 minutes

What Size Silicone Toy Should You Start With?

Quick answer

Start with a toy that has a widest shaft diameter of 1.5 inches or less and a total length around 5–6 inches. This gives you room to explore without overwhelming yourself. For most beginners, a small or medium-small model in a softer silicone firmness is the sweet spot.

Why starting size matters

Jumping into a toy that is too large or too firm can make your first experience uncomfortable or even frustrating. A size that is too small may not provide enough sensation to be satisfying. The goal is to find a middle ground that lets you explore without strain.

Silicone toys come in a range of dimensions and firmnesses. A softer silicone (like Super Soft 0020) can feel more forgiving even at slightly larger sizes, while a Medium (0050) silicone holds its shape and may feel firmer. This is why considering both size and firmness together is important.

How to read measurements correctly

When looking at a toy's specs, focus on three numbers: total length, usable length, and widest shaft diameter. Usable length is the portion that can actually be inserted—the base and any non-insertable parts don't count. The widest shaft diameter tells you the maximum stretch you'll need to accommodate.

Circumference is another helpful metric, but diameter gives a more intuitive sense of girth. For a first toy, aim for a widest shaft diameter between 1.25 and 1.75 inches. That range covers most beginners comfortably.

Firmness changes the feel of size

A toy that is 1.75 inches in diameter in Super Soft silicone will compress more during use, making it feel smaller than the same size in Medium silicone. Conversely, a Medium silicone toy of the same dimensions will feel fuller and less forgiving. If you are unsure, starting with a softer firmness can make a slightly larger size more approachable.

Strange Bedfellas offers both Super Soft (0020) and Medium (0050) options. For a first toy, Super Soft is often recommended because it reduces the perceived girth and allows for easier adjustment.

Decision rules for choosing your starting size

Rule 1: Keep widest diameter under 1.75 inches: For your first toy, a widest shaft diameter of 1.5 inches or less is ideal. Up to 1.75 inches can work if the toy is Super Soft. Anything larger risks discomfort. Check the widest shaft diameter before buying.
Rule 2: Choose a usable length of 4.5–5.5 inches: This range is long enough to explore depth without being intimidating. Most beginners find 4.5 to 5.5 inches usable length comfortable. Ignore total length—focus on usable length.
Rule 3: Prefer Super Soft firmness for your first toy: Super Soft (0020) silicone compresses more, making a given size feel smaller and more accommodating. Medium (0050) is firmer and may feel larger than its measurements suggest. If you buy Medium, consider a slightly smaller diameter.

Real product examples for beginners

Small Ohdan -- Super Soft silicone -- O-2140: Small Ohdan in Super Soft silicone. Total length 5.75 inches, usable length 4.5 inches, head diameter 1.2 inches, widest shaft diameter 2 inches. The 2-inch widest shaft is on the upper end for a beginner, but the Super Soft firmness makes it more forgiving. If you have some experience or want a gradual stretch, this could work. The narrow head (1.2 inches) eases insertion.
Small Parasite MISHAP -- Medium silicone -- PAR-52: Small Parasite MISHAP in Medium silicone. A mishap toy with missing teeth tips on the base, sold at a discount. This toy is a good budget-friendly entry point if you want a Medium firmness. The missing tips are on the base, not the insertable part, so function is unaffected. However, the exact dimensions are not listed, so you'll need to check the product page for measurements if girth is a concern.