Quick answer

Start with a small, smooth, beginner-friendly toy and more water-based lube than you think you need. Go slowly, stop at any pain, and never move from anal play to vaginal play without changing the condom or washing the toy first.

Set up your space and body before the toy comes out

Anal play works best when you are relaxed, empty, and not rushed. Use the bathroom beforehand, lay down a towel, and keep wipes and a small trash bag within reach. Trim your nails and wash your hands. If you are trying anal toys for the first time, pick a moment when you are not already stressed or sore.

Choose a first toy that matches your experience level

A first anal toy should be small in diameter, smooth, and flared at the base so it cannot travel inside. Silicone is a common choice because it is body-safe and easy to clean. Skip vibrating or heavily textured toys until you know how your body responds to basic insertion.

Use the right lube and apply more than feels necessary

The anus does not self-lubricate, so lube is not optional. Water-based lube is the safest match for silicone toys and condoms, though it needs reapplying. If you use a silicone toy, avoid silicone-based lube unless the toy maker says it is compatible. Apply lube to the toy and to the anus, then add more as you go.

Your step-by-step anal training plan

  1. Step 1: Relax and empty your system: Use the bathroom, take a shower, and set out lube, wipes, and a towel. Breathe deeply and avoid clenching. If you feel tense or rushed, pause. Relaxation is the first safety tool.
  2. Step 2: Start with external touch only: Before inserting anything, massage the anal opening with a lubed finger or a small external vibrator. This helps you learn what feels good. Common mistake: skipping warm-up and going straight to insertion.
  3. Step 3: Insert slowly with a small, flared toy: Apply lube generously. Point the toy toward your belly button, not straight in. Push only until you feel slight pressure, then hold still. Checkpoint: no sharp pain. If it hurts, stop and add more lube.
  4. Step 4: Breathe and wait before moving: Let your muscles adjust for 30–60 seconds. Breathe out as you gently push the toy a little further, if comfortable. Common mistake: thrusting too soon. Stillness is part of the process.
  5. Step 5: Explore gentle motion or vibration: Once insertion feels easy, try slow, small movements or turn on a low vibration setting. Keep the base held so the toy cannot slip inside. Checkpoint: if you feel burning or numbness, remove the toy and stop for the day.
  6. Step 6: Remove slowly and clean everything: Pull out as slowly as you inserted. Wash the toy with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, then dry it. Wash your hands. Common mistake: rushing removal, which can cause discomfort.
  7. Step 7: Never go from anal to vaginal play without protection: Bacteria from the anus can cause infections. Change the condom on the toy or wash the toy thoroughly before any vaginal contact. Safety rule: one-way traffic only, or use a fresh condom every time.

Beginner-friendly options from our catalog

  • ANELLO: ANELLO is a beginner-friendly penis toy available in Indigo or Black. A simple, non-intimidating accessory can add sensation during partnered or solo play without requiring advanced technique.
  • PEARL: PEARL is a wearable vibrating panty with app control and a contoured silicone shape. If you want hands-free external stimulation during anal training, a wearable vibrator can distract from discomfort and help you associate anal play with pleasure.